An Important PSA

Okay folks, today I'm going to do something a little different; instead of posting a stupid customer stories, I want to take some time and do an important PSA.

I'm sure that all of us either know someone or ourselves fall into this category; the type of person that walks into a convenience store and throws a fit when their favorite scratch off game isn't there. The type of person who wins $50, $60, $70 on one ticket then ends up spending it all and then some. The type of person who has very specific numbers in very specific ways and throws a tantrum if the clerk messes up. The type of person who complains they have no money...except when in comes to lotto.

Yes, I'm talking about what a friend of mine dubs lotto-tards. Those annoying bastards that hold up lines and piss off cashiers and other customers everywhere. Is there any hope for them? Thankfully there is.

If you're reading this and know someone who is a lotto-tard, helping them is quite simple; next time you see them having any one of the above mentioned symptoms, tell them to GET A FUCKING LIFE! Remember, with your help, we can defeat this.

This message has been brought to you by Annoyed Clerks Everywhere.

That New Fangled Internets...Always Messing Up Phone Bills...

I had this call during my first week as a financial collector (before I became a CSR):

Me: How can I help you today?

Customer: *in a very, very southern drawl* Yeah, I wants to know why bill is so high!

Me: Let me get you over to a CSR to help you with that.

*After I explain to the CSR what's going on, I stay on the line briefly as he explains to the customer why his bill is so high*

CSR: Any questions sir?

Customer: *Pause* Now that sounds all well and good, but I gots my own idea about why it's so high. It's because y'alls puts the internets on my phone.

O_o I can't make this shit up...this really happened...

Monthly Payments Are Not A Reccomendation

So I used to work as a customer service agent for a major cell phone company, which was a gold mine of stupidity. This call though was one of the standouts:

Me: *After going through my opening lines* How can I help you?

Customer: Yeah, I've had your service since January and I'm just trying to figure out why my service is shut off.

Me: Okay let's take a lo-sir...it says here you haven't paid your bill since January?

Customer: Right...

Me: Sir, it's July...

Customer: *Pause* Oh...you mean I have to pay my bill every month?

O_o Yeah...that really happened...

How...How Do You Function?!

So we make pizza's where I work and customer's can pick up whole pizza's to go...if they give us enough time to make them. Apparently, this lady doesn't understand this concept...

*Customer walks in at about 10 of 7*

Customer: Yes, how long is it going to take for the breakfast pizza to finish?

Me: Oh just a few minutes. You want me to ring you up for a slice?

Customer: Actually, I have a meeting and I need the whole thing. Well, multiple pizza's actually.

Me: Oh okay. What time do you need them for?

Customer: 7:00.

Me: ...That's not possible ma'am...

Customer: Well why not?!

Me: ...Because it takes at least 10 minutes to cook each pizza.

Customer: Well I called *names another store of ours* and they said you could make pizza anytime!

Yeah...that really happened...